Who the Fuck is Tommy Tuberville?

I personally thought he had retired after complaining about not making it to the championship game way back in 2003.

I guess he didn't because now he has a new cause: Taking shots at Ohio State.

So now we don't only have to listen to fans assume they can beat Ohio State because they are part of the SEC, we have to listen to coaches? Tuberville proclaims:

"Ohio State would have finished fifth in our league and they're ranked No. 1 in the preseason poll," Tuberville said.

Funny, because I don't remember Ohio State playing in the SEC. It's a fun statement to make, considering the champion of the SEC has beat Ohio State in the past 2 championship games and not the second, third or fourth place team.

The best part is that Tommy doesn’t have to worry about accountability. It’s not like Ohio State will be seeing Auburn on the gridiron any time soon, unless the Tigers quit dropping random games along the way. My recommendation is the Auburn cedes from the SEC and joins the Big 10 to make up our 12^th team. My guess is that Penn State, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Illinois would have no trouble with the Tigers. Actually Ohio State would probably win too, considering as how you’d then be a member of the Big Ten and not the SEC.

You may remember Auburn for their Florida victories the past 2 years, because besides that there’s not a whole lot to hang your hat on. You would have to assume that Ohio State would drop games to South Florida and The Mississippi State University. Hell, they went toe to toe against Nebraska (yes, Callahan’s Nebraska). Auburn’s last shot at a Big Ten team didn’t go so well, losing to Wisconsin 24-10 in 2005, so I assume Wisconsin would finish close to second in the SEC. The John Stocco tossed for over 300 yards and the Badgers held Kenny Irons to 88 yards rushing.

It’s just sad really that these coaches can shoot off at the mouth without any kind of accountability. If you call out a specific team, you should have to play that team and not hide behind the big boys of your conference (Florida and LSU). He must forget that it’s only Ohio State that has an issue with beating SEC team, as the rest of the Big Ten seems to do just fine.

That being said, it looks like I have a new favorite team to play in a bowl game! But then again, Ohio State will probably be in the National Championship game and Auburn will probably drop a game to either Louisiana-Monroe or Tennessee Martin.

Don’t worry Tommy, I’ve already petitioned the Big Ten for Auburns admission.

Malcolm Jenkins is Slow...

or so says a bunch of 2009 NFL Draft predictions.

Comments say that Malcolm Jenkins, the senior cornerback for Ohio State, might not be able to produce in the forty yard dash.

Poe is curious to where this rumor started (my guess is a SEC/CBS/Florida message board) because to me, he's always seemed like one of the fastest guys on the field. Just ask Penn State and LSU. In addition, he seems to be the most electric Buckeye when he's got the ball in his hands. The dude is basically Mr. Pick Six.

I'm confused. Maybe being one of the fastest Buckeyes only makes you as fast as an LSU linebacker, but I've never watched a game and said "Holy shit, Malcolm Jenkins is slow". Donald Washington got chased down against Texas, so maybe people get Washington and Jenkins confused.

You tell me where this vicious rumor started...

Charmin Soft = 4 Big Ten Teams in CBS Top 25

That’s it. I’ve quit my day job. I’ve been hired by CBSSportsline to come up with articles that provide no insight and inspire a myriad of message board comments.

Dennis Dodd and I on the same team will be quite a force to reckon with. He can piss off the Big Ten and I’ll piss of the SEC. The rest of the conferences will get so sick of the Big Ten and SEC, like they aren’t already, and then CBS will be the first site to reach 1 billion posts.

I’ve been inspired by Dennis Dodd. He is mentor. Why? Because he ranks the Buckeyes #1 in this Top 25 poll, one spot above SEC favorite Georgia. Why the change of heart from Dodd, who rags on the Buckeyes as choke artists and hammers the Big Ten for being a horrible conference? Dodd says:

“Mix in the roll of baby-soft Charmin known as the Big Ten schedule and this is the team to beat.”

While the whole slate of the Big Ten may be a tad easier than the SEC, Dodd proceeds to include 3 other Big Ten teams in the Top 25 (Illinois, Wisconsin, and Michigan State). I could see Dodd’s issue, except for the fact that Ohio State plays all 3 teams ON THE ROAD. Dodd also just dropped out Penn State from the list Post Spring, meaning 5 total Big Ten teams would have been on the list. Ohio State would play all 4. How many SEC teams? 5 of them. In my life, 5=5.

What does this mean? Nothing, because these beat writers write each story with a clean slate, as if they never had a prior opinion or a prior thought (yet all of which can be found in their archive).

He also puts 5 Big 12 teams in the top 11. Using previous logic, none of those five play each other during the season? I’d say his top 6 is logical in some order. The sad part is that Dennis Dodd’s opinion counts. His baseless opinions actually lead into the real rankings once the season starts.

It’s cool to hate on Ohio State’s schedule, and it sucks we have to start out with Youngstown State but we do, but Troy was second in the Sun Belt (ask the SEC about the Sun Belt) and Ohio University at least contends in the MAC. Uh, uh, okay bad arguments…but we play USC in Southern California.

And that can’t get here soon enough.

Why Recruiting Is Creepy

ESPN has proven that it is not only the world leader in sports, but the world leader in being downright creepy about high school kids. Talking about Ohio running back Bud Golden:


"He is a tall, well-built kid with the body structure to hold an additional 15-20 pounds of lean bulk to complement his downhill, north-south running style. His frame really impresses you without pads on. While lean, you can see his naturally strong, well-defined upper-body with the broad shoulders to eventually carry more weight and the load as a college running back."

Well, if that ESPN gig doesn't work out, I heard Fabio is looking for a writer for his next romance novel.

I have to go shower now...

Head Shots from 5/20/08

Big Ten Coaches Want a Break: Coaches are proposing a 2 week quiet period in the summer where recruits would be off limits from the dirty old men stalking them, also known as coaches and recruiters. The story was posted on ESPN and within minutes, comments popped up with suck gems as "This is why the Big Ten sucks" and "Sure, give Carroll, Meyer and Stoops 2 weeks alone with the Midwest’s blue chip recruits".

Mark May busy at work again, I see. His cohorts in comments were ‘McSheezyThaDraftMan’ and ‘MelKiperMustDie’. No idea who THAT could be, Todd.

Perrilloux Finds a Home: Ryan Perrilloux has signed his scholarship papers in AL-A-BA-MA! No, not the Crimson Tide, but Jacksonville State. RP can now play next season without riding the pine as he would transferring to a D1A school, which was important since he had already burned his redshirt season (along with the bridges behind him). Was that the season he was in a FBI counterfeiting investigation or and incident with a fake ID and a riverboat casino?

Sports Illustrated has commentary on the situation, with nothing but praise towards Perrilloux, explaining how well he played against Middle Tennessee State and Tennessee. In that case, he’s already shown he can be successful against D1-AA caliber defenses.

JSU currently has no quarterback on the team, which was also a positive in Perrilloux’s eyes. Was Jacksonville State without a QB because of graduation or injury? No, and we can’t make this up, he was kicked off the team. Funny how the world works.

Julio Jones for President: You know your school loves football when a football player gets third place in the Student Council President race. You know your school REALLY loves football when that player is a write in candidate who has yet to step on campus. Really tall Bama recruit and one member of Nick Saban’s 110 man recruiting class, Julio Jones is already a fan favorite.

Look out, we might have Terrelle Pryor elected as Governor of Ohio if this keeps up.

"I’m Terrelle Pryor, and I approve this message."

Jim Tressel Invades Florida: Open spots on the 2009 Ohio State football team are disappearing faster than small children at an elementary school when Charlie Weis got wrong directions to the all-you-can-eat buffet. (Note: Poe is implying Charlie Weis eats small children and house pets. Everyone is dogging on Charlie. 3-9, 3-9). JT has been quite the jet-setter, keeping tabs on recruits in Florida, Maryland, Tennessee (third time I had to type that word) and California.

Ohio State is currently on the short list for so many Florida kids, you’d think we replaced Florida State in the Big Three (we have). Two running backs, several defensive backs, and several wide receivers are getting the JT love, to the point where they might not have enough spots for everyone.

Two of the kids are amongst the fastest in the Speed State (hey, it was Microsoft that had me capitalize it). It’s just a shame that they might move north and play in the Big Ten and steal all the speed from the ACC. Yes, the ACC. Not surprisingly, many of the kids are also on Urban Meyer’s radar. No, he really has a radar. Unless you have the speed of a twin engine Cessna, he will not recruit you. Thus the call into Michigan’s tight end (non-existent in any Ohio State-Michigan game), who blew past the entire Florida defense on a screen.

The No Win Argument: College Football Playoffs

Just so you know, Gordon Gee is looking out for you. He doesn’t want college football to become too professional; he doesn’t want to cross that line "down a slippery slope". Thanks buddy. Luckily for Ohio State, Gordon Gee is normally right. He states we don’t want to get into an "arms race".

Poe will be the first to tell you that Gee’s argument is pretty weak.

Ohio State is big time college football. Big time college football is professional football without the payroll. Ohio State football has Ohio Stadium (105,000 people), The Woody Hayes Athletic Center ($24 million), ABC primetime games, the Big Ten Network, merchandising deals, sponsorships, and BCS million dollar paydays. This isn’t some two-bit operation that relies on good luck. All that and a playoff pushes us off a slippery slope? Maybe Gee will do away with the athletic department next (ha, Vanderbilt! Seriously though, the real people that run Ohio State would never allow it). Next thing you know, we’ll be talking about paying student-athletes!*

*That’s a whole other topic, but lets just say Poe made $23/hr working during a co-op during college. The school sent applications to the employer, employer hired student, student did work, student was paid, and the employer made profit. Sounds like the academics of a university are professional, but we can’t take our sports there?

Gee has drawn the ire talk show hosts and sports writers alike. Mike Wilbon of ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption, graduate of Northwestern, crossed his own slippery slope and called Gee "a fraud". Meanwhile, Jim Tressel backs the Ohio State/Big Ten/Pac-10 position on playoffs, probably hoping not to stir the pot and go against the conference and its bowl tie-in (Rose Bowl). Never mind the fact that Tressel won 4 of his 5 national championships in the D-1AA playoff system. It’s a lot like when Wilbon (ESPN) and Dennis Dodd (CBS) take shots at Ohio State and the Big Ten, because it’s the culture created by the network. It’s easy to take shots since the collective memory of our society is 2.5 days, and these guys sit in meetings all day discussing how to make controversy. SportingNews says Jim Delaney is the sports most powerful comissioner, but they are the weakest BCS conference. But if there were a playoff, ESPN would likely have to go off air or play more Texas Hold ’em because they won’t get to "debate" as much.

The only reason ESPN/ABC/Disney is likely to be pushing for a playoff system is that ESPN/ABC/Disney is likely to make a bid the next time the TV deals expire.

The outside view is that the Big Ten doesn’t want a playoff system because then Ohio State wouldn’t get free rides into the championship game. Somehow they figure that Ohio State wouldn’t get an advantage by playing the fourth ranked team (since they have been #1 the past 2 years) and actually playing a game during the 40-day layoff. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sure doesn’t help Ohio State when they lose the national championship game. And what would become of the team if they win the Rose Bowl, but lose in the championship? Hey congrats, you won the Granddaddy of Them All, but you are still overrated!

I’m all for the Plus One, if the BCS guys can all sit down at a table and come up with something clever and logical. I’m just not sure they can (oh well, there’s always congress!). The more football the better, for me at least. Maybe the players can all take a vote, after all they are the ones playing. If they are happy, then who cares? Too many times these ruling committees look out for their own interests while forgetting about the players that make of the teams whether it be the NCAA, NFL, NBA, or MLB (sorry NHL).

Gordon Gee is smarter than we are. In fact, he might even be a bigger Buckeye than we are (any man that wears Buckeye pants is a hero, in my book). We know Gee is all for keeping athletic departments in check and raising academic standards. I’m all for it too. But Ohio State is not Vanderbilt in background, budget, or admissions. I haven’t personally seen a Plus One or playoff system that makes sense logically, but I wouldn’t dare claim college football (and basketball) are separate entities from their professional counterparts.

Besides, the decision-makers already made their decision.

He Was Who We Thought He Was

Can I get a round of applause for whoever came up with the ‘one and done’ rule for college basketball. Bravo. Bra-fucking-vo.

No, it’s not the fact that the NCAA came up with a completely arbitrary number regarding the duration of term in college (football is 3 years, basketball is only 1 year. I would assume that the team owners and commissioners had something to say about that).

‘One and done’, especially at Ohio State, causes issues with a team’s APR rating (basically a formula that accounts for graduation rates of students). Greg Oden, Mike Conley, and Daequan Cook go pro in basketball, your APR score drops since they left in the middle of a semester. It doesn’t matter if you go pro, transfer schools, or just quit the team and drop out of school. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the purpose of college is to work towards gaining the skills you need to be successful in a specific professional. Let’s say I bailed on the engineering program early because NASA was offering me a $100k signing bonus to be a genius engineer. I doubt the engineering school would be slapped with penalties and have scholarships revoked.

Secondly, OJ Mayo was who we thought he was: any university’s nightmare. Reports show that Mayo had been taking cash and gifts since high school and through his ‘one and done’ season at USC. Uh oh USC. That means since he was directly affiliated with you for 4 months, you now face the wrath of the NCAA. And Mayo? He gets to go pro. Thankfully, the NCAA has no judicial powers outside "we’ll take back your trophy" and "you can’t play in the postseason", or this could turn into the Spanish Inquisition. The NCAA probably feels it should be above the law, so I wouldn’t be surprised when the NCAA minds rule "off with his head".

I can’t blame Mayo, especially since cash and gifts aren’t technically illegal. All he was trying to do was get paid the entire time. It would have happened on the priest’s watch if he decided he was going to St. Johns or Notre Dame. But the truth was, you could tell from the beginning. OJ Mayo has always had a little bit of flair and attitude, the polar opposite of Greg Oden. Maybe it had something to do with committing to USC in 6^th grade.

I can’t blame Mayo. I can blame the NCAA. A two-year rule in college basketball affords at least some accountability from the player to the university. A three-year rule would make college basketball equal to college football. 3+3=3.